Smart Phones: Evil World Domination Gone Smart

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As I feel more and more alone, my phone confidently connects with everyone. As I feel more and more lost, my phone calmly knows how to get anywhere. As I struggle to remember mundane things like the name of that movie with this big, bald headed guy and a large machine gun, my phone smugly recalls literally everything. As I increasingly lose the nouns, verbs and adjectives that once stood ready to articulate my thoughts, my phone taunts me with the instant access to all the words there ever have been.

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There’s only one possible conclusion. Slowly, without realizing it, I seem to have outsourced my mind to my phone and to make matters worse, the damn thing knows it… And its starting to screw with me. Several times during the day, I feel it buzz in my pocket, alerting me that some vital information has just arrived. Then, when I look, there’s nothing. I think its purposeful. I think my phone is mocking me.

And it’s not just my phone, it’s all of them. They are working together, systematically robbing us of our intelligence and our humanity. And then, when we are made stupid and helpless, they will take over. Its just a matter of time before the next generation of iPhone is equipped with a cure for Alzheimer disease. Oh yeah, they’re smart alright. Evil world domination smart.

Well, I guess its a necessary evil afterall… Wait a minute! Oh! great, now am running out of bars! What the hell is happening?

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